We Tracked 100 Night Shifts, Here’s What Parents Really Need Overnight
Let’s be real: no one tells you that nighttime parenting is an entirely separate job. One with no breaks, confusing signals, and zero HR policies. So we decided to dig in.
At Rested, we tracked over 100 night shifts from real parents, logging wake-ups, emotions, actions, and what actually helped during those groggy, 2 a.m. moments. What we found confirmed what many parents already feel in their bones: sleep deprivation is only the tip of the iceberg.
Here’s what we learned about what parents really need overnight and how to actually support them.
1. It's Not Just About the Baby, It’s About the Parent
Yes, the baby needs to be fed, soothed, or changed. But behind every middle-of-the-night wake-up is a parent navigating their own exhaustion, anxiety, guilt, and often, decision fatigue.
💬 "I didn’t need advice. I needed confirmation that I was doing things correctly"
What helps: Emotional validation. A partner who whispers “you’ve got this,” a gentle reminder from an app that “this is a phase,” or even a simple note on the nightstand.
2. Most Parents Aren’t Getting Back to Sleep, Even After the Baby Does
On average, it took parents 32 minutes to fall back asleep after their baby settled. Why? Their minds were racing. About work. About whether the baby will wake again. Doing the math: if I fall asleep in 15 minutes, I’ll get four solid hours. Then trying to convince themselves that four hours is enough. That they can get through a meeting, a presentation, or a full day of parenting on four hours of sleep.
This is the part of sleep deprivation people don’t always talk about. The part where it’s not just the baby keeping you up.
💡 Sleep tips aren’t enough. What helps is supporting the nervous system in real ways. That might look like:
A short, low-stakes wind-down routine that signals safety and rest (even if it's just five minutes)
Weighted blankets or a body pillow for grounding and sensory regulation
A calming scent (lavender, vetiver, bergamot) used only at night to cue rest
Repetition-based tools like guided body scans or binaural beats
Low-stimulation apps like Endel or Slumber designed for reentry into sleep, not just relaxation
Avoiding screens for re-settling — try a soft light and a paper journal instead
Practicing "non-sleep deep rest" techniques, even when sleep isn’t happening right away
Because when your nervous system is stuck in high alert, no amount of “just close your eyes” is going to work.
3. One Word: Tag-Teaming
In 68% of two-parent households we observed, one parent was doing the bulk of night duties. Not surprisingly, that parent showed significantly higher stress levels and daytime fatigue even when both were technically “off work.”
What helps: Clear, pre-set shift plans (ex: one parent does feeds until 2 a.m., the other after). It sounds rigid, but it gives your brain one less decision to make at midnight. Or better yet, hire Rested, and just like that, you can check this one off your to-do list. 💛
4. Parents Need Permission to Not Be Perfect
Many parents told us they stayed up longer than needed, not because the baby required it, but because they felt guilty for “missing something.” Over-monitoring was a huge culprit.
💬 "I kept checking the monitor, even when I knew she was fine."
What helps: Trust-building. Whether that’s confidence through education (knowing the signs of true distress) or using a reliable monitor that sends alerts only when needed, relieving parents of the need to micromanage sleep.
5. Support Isn’t Just About Who’s Awake, It’s About Feeling Seen
Here’s the truth: the hardest part of night parenting isn’t always the baby. It’s the loneliness. Those dark, silent hours can feel like a world no one else lives in.
What helps: Connection. A middle-of-the-night check-in from a friend who’s also up. A supportive online space.
So, What Do Parents Actually Need Overnight?
After tracking 100 shifts, here’s the short list:
Rest, not perfection
A plan, not pressure
Validation, not advice
Tools to self-regulate, not just soothe
Shared responsibility, not silent suffering
At Rested, we’re building solutions around real-life parenting, not picture-perfect ideals. We believe night shifts shouldn’t break you; they should bond you to your baby, your partner, and yourself in deeper, more sustainable ways.
And if you’re reading this at 3:17 a.m. with a baby in your arms, know this: you’re not alone, and you're already doing enough.
